When you let go of your stories, your definition, your needs, then you are Healing.
Healing is not about having No problems.
It is about not having any point of view of it, no reason or justification of it, no need to have it different in that moment.
Simply No resistance.
Healing is also the openness to receive everything that can change anything.
We spend our lives hiding ourselves, diminishing ourselves and trying to Be what we are supposed to Be for others.. Familiar?
Then we are liberated with the possibility that we can just Be ourselves no matter what, un apologetically and totally. So we make a quick switch to what it is to be this Free and live with such abandon. In the process we overcompensate or even misapply what that is.
We tend to care a damn, get aggressive, prove, fight, rebel...
Being who you are is got to do with a lot of your gentle presence, with kindness, it is not getting into another act of doing contrary to that it is about you being present to yourself as it is, being around people without having to defy, fight or rebel against anything. It is honouring of you And other people. It is the gentleness that is a dynamic presence in this world.
The Defining Moment?
I have always wondered what was greater, more and better in life than I currently have.
I knew it had to be! Some people inspired me with the way they lived their life, others claimed to have all the answers to what it takes to be happy one day, some day, and then there were others who struggled to be that and have that.
This took me on a wild goose chase to achieve that! It became my single most vital endeavour.
This was my mission through different stages of my life. When I was a student and struggled to be something that I must be, in order to exist in this world and have a self worth, I then I moved on to a glamorous job of being a flight attendant, a young girl struggling with relationships, lonely sometimes, excited with the adventure I had in my life yet feeling directionless and wondered what else lay ahead of me and if I could make the right “decisions” then I would be happy in the near or distant future.
Life brought me to another stage of being a wife and a mother. This was a milestone that was euphoric for a while as it is for so many women until I began to question who I really was besides the roles I was playing, how I can still have my life after having dedicated my life to my family ? What would I love to do, what hobbies, interest would make me happier? I took the next step which came pretty naturally to me, was into the “spiritual seeking”. After all I had always been contemplative, tad bit serious, and the key ingredient was that if was looking for happiness beyond my mundane existence.
After years of soul searching, collecting information, receiving healing and being a healer and lots and lots of breathing, I still felt it eluded me. What was it that eluded me? Consciousness!
Did it really elude me or had I made it a destination? Something I will have one day, in the form of happiness in my next life, if I had toiled enough, compromised enough and been good enough I would have it ,wouldn’t I? Or when I get “enlightened”, perhaps then I will have consciousness? Until then I may just be the who needs to be fixed, changed, healed, and the non enlightened being. Then literally my question led to some really great questions!
What if that is a lie? What if the endeavour was the trap AND What if Consciousness was not a destination?!
We all speak of Consciousness, to many it’s a word that they don’t know what it really means. For others it’s a concept, some try to define it, and.... some are least concerned with it.
When I heard Gary Douglas , founder of Access Consciousness say,” Consciousness includes everything and judges nothing.” It just changed my world! Every time I hear that it adds, expands my universe in ways I am not even cognitively aware off.
So, You could be a healer, seeker, doctor, artist, homemaker, lawyer, have a corporate job, business person my guess is you are looking at having happiness, greater possibilities, more money, better health, love, ease, and a capacity to make your life the best one no matter what the circumstances are. Could that be what a conscious life looks like?!
Then how do you choose in that direction, how do you step into a world like that? What can you add to your life in big and seemingly small ways to be the version of you?
What if you were given pragmatic tools that no matter who you are or where you are in your life you can be all of you? What if consciousness was a moment to moment choice?
The One who Awakened Me to Me.
Years ago I was struggling in my life emotionally, mentally and physically. I did what came naturally to me, that was to search for a person or something as a crutch. So, I went for the most easily available support system in my country. I searched for a Guru!
Any Guru would do really! Someone who can give me a talk, better still all the Answers to my woes. Give me a set of practices, Good and Right things that I can do , present some palatable philosophy... That is the criteria of a Guru , right?
Then I met a lady, a Guru to a few people, not media savvy, not famous, not in a cave or an ashram. You can imagine my surprise when I felt a deep connection to her. What a unlikely candidate I thought at the time.
Well, gathered my hopes, fuelled my desperation and asked for solutions and the to do and be list.
Oh Boy!! Was I disappointed!! Got none of that.. zilch!
But here is what I did get... Total allowance of me, No judgement , No impelling of her truth, Always coaxed into finding Mine( which by the way was the most disappointing one at the time), Inquiry, and just Being. She encouraged me when I started the 8 spiritual breaths and had no point of view when my Body dropped that practice.
I really do hope you are that Lucky to find the One person who can allow you to Be, allow you to shine forth as You and not some package of their ideas. The one person who can truly stand and watch as you fall, as you get back up and Love you through it all.
It is Grace, it is a Blessing to have the Unlikely Guru Santosh Sachdeva. The One who Awakened Me to Me.
It is Interesting to see how we invest in People, Places and Things. We invest in them so fully or the idea of them or the importance of them and the need of them.
Lets take for example relationships. We make some of them Vital,something that defines us, becomes the source of joy, money, love and validates our existence. In including someone we exclude the rest. Perhaps that is how relationships have been done in this reality for far too long. Basis for monogamy I suppose...
There are a few who do claim to have great relationships, some struggle and some don't even want to look at it lest they get uncomfortable.
Most of us hold on to the idea of what is a relationship and how it is supposed to be.
The real relationship in question is Yours to You. If you could invest in your self, have your back, be committed to you, be the source of your life, your joy, be so deeply connected to you only then you can have the rest as a by product that is not transient like all relationships.
You never have to exclude anyone in your life, because with everyone you have a different relationship. Each person adds something to your life sometimes in the way of a experience.
The key is You include You your Relationship.
What would your life Be like if you were the source of it?
I think, I feel and that makes me want to share...